he was CRYING into my vagina
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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