I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
