Me too!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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