I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
