I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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