Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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