yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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