Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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