I cannot find my penis.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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