take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
3pm strippers are depressing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize