So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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