bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
