You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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