We named our party play list daddy issues
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
