Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
