Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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