Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize