That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
