Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
