Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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