im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
