Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
