turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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