good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
