honey bunches of taint.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
