I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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