i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize