I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
