when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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