He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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