dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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