Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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