there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
