This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
