During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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