Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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