I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish i was in the wii world.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
