I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
