she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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