I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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