someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
