I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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