spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
