So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
