: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
