Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
