Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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