Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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