the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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