After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
