wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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