i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize