Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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