I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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