saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
