she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
