please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
