Define "chronic" masturbator.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
