She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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