Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
