her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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