i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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