party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have feelings that need drinking.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
